Be Humble I know it’s fucking hard. Carlos Castaneda. The most hurt and traumatized among us will do anything to protect what little self-respect is left. Being isolated, singled out, and made to feel less is not fun. If somebody hurts you then the best thing that you can do … I appreciated his honesty about this and I recognized it as manipulation by someone who was hurting. Although I didn’t understand completely, I knew for a fact that she was hurting — and we know what hurt people do. Compulsions include: Removing debris from sidewalks, stairways, rooms, hallways, or other public walkways. Hence, she was manipulating me to see if I would react a certain way. 1. 58. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. And whereas it’s no excuse for toying with another person’s feelings, it’s a poignant reminder we’re all searching for acceptance and understanding. Yes, it can happen to anyone at any time. Their reactions stem from past experiences that led them to certain beliefs that they accepted as truth. The other person is going to need your help at some point, and this is where you get to illustrate what being a kind and giving person is all about. Supporting a partner in crisis while you’re also hurting is all too common in the lives of people under average circumstances and recently life ... What if the hurt is there because of a negative experience with ... Focus on that part of you that cares for the other and give them the chance to care for you. “People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. We can always offer love to them — either in close proximity or from further away. While some mistakes are in our control, others are not. You are not able to prevent others from hurting you, but you can prevent yourself from hurting others. #12: When you love people you give them the key to rooms in your heart and this means that when they wrong you, it’s not going to stay on the surface but will hurt you deep in your heart. Now that you have talked it out, do you want to salvage the relationship? One way to win is to love them where they’re at and be okay with the outcome. Treating someone badly is just bad whether you or the other person did it. Sylvester Stallone. Because nobody wants to be alone at the proverbial pity party. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. How Do Bullies Hurt Others? The looking glass morphs into something more like one of those funky mirrors they have in haunted clown houses at the carnival. Each of us has lived a unique life. 37. When someone hurts us it’s often because it hits a part of ourselves that is in need of our own love. Think about how their pain or situation to have hurt you. Being trolled online, which is a form of cyberbullying, is not fun. Often coaches listen back to their coaching calls to hear what they said to their clients because they are projecting what they feel about themselves onto the client. There's a natural law of karma that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt others, will end up broke and alone. Other times they will hurt you without realizing it. Therefore, you have made the conscience choice to give focus and fuel to a bad situation that will take you nowhere and give you nothing, but ignorance and pain.” So when she said I wasn’t being authentic she was actually thinking that she wasn’t being authentic. When someone hurts us it’s often because it hits a part of ourselves that is in need of our own love. Hurting is how life gives you a signal that it’s time to change; embrace this signal, because if you don’t, there will be more signals. We know they don’t truly want to hurt us — they are just protecting themselves and attempting to avoid mental and emotional pain. The person may try to resist those urges because of the likely consequences, but not because the idea of acting on the thoughts or urges is incredibly unsettling. People too have hurt me and the way I see it is that they do it intentionally because of their inner hurt or unintentionally. You just suppressed it. 5. Have you been hurt by others? It’s easier to react than it is to respond. I sent a simple message saying “I’ve been thinking about you and hope you’re well. Some of us have had life-long stability, and for others walking the path of life has always been wobbly and close to the edge. Because most of us don’t know how to generate our own love we go into survival mode when we’re hurt. If you’ve done something that hurt them, you need to apologize as well. 58. All of us have different thoughts, feelings and ideas formed into opinions. As always, example is … It’s a never-ending cycle because you didn’t let go of the underlying feeling of guilt. They often continually hurt the ones they love and need the most with their self-destructive behavior. Hurt is something that every one has experienced. Let That Shit Go: Because Hurt People Hurt People & It’s Not Always About You – waytomuchtoosay, To the Girl Who Catfished Me for 9 Months Whereas I Had Most cancers | {{site_title}}, Here’s The Most Important Thing You Can Do After A Break-Up, I’m Choosing To Forgive You So We Can Both Be Free, This Is For The Girls Who Are Carrying The World On Their Shoulders, Hurt People Do Not Hurt People—Unhealed People Do, 260+ “Hurt Quotes” About Hurt Feelings and Healing, Forgiveness Is A Very Difficult Art But It Will Heal You, How To Wake Up To The Part Of You That You Haven’t Learned To Love. Fear of Hurting Other People: Compulsions/Rituals. However we don’t need to stand for it do we?! To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. It's a challenge that you can learn and grow from. Now that you have talked it out, do you want to salvage the relationship? But for the majority of us, we hurt others because we’re in pain. Hurt people often carry around a suspicious spirit. The person may try to resist those urges because of the likely consequences, but not because the idea of acting on the thoughts or urges is incredibly unsettling. As always, example is … Unleashing anger on to others only causes more pain for ourselves in the end. 6. Work on forgiving … These and other considerations indicate how easily you can hurt the one you love without intending to do so. Feed it to yourself even if it feels impossible to swallow. 5 Surround yourself with people who care about you. 5. For you it’s as if the world is crashing down, and all you knew of others was a lie, but for them it’s not so dramatic and they most likely don’t even remember hurting you. But it’s not a long-term strategy for coping with hurt. Remind yourself how fucking amazing you are, we promise you, you are *so* worth it! We are so concerned with hurting others that we will go out of our way to avoid putting someone else in a compromising situation. Not only words said directly to the person, but words said when that person is not around. Realize that when someone hurts you, it’s usually because they’re hurting. When sharing your own feelings, speak from a place of “I”. Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love. As you share the truth with someone they will feel hurt and maybe embarrassed. Other times I know can love people best from a distance, releasing them to God and praying that they will find healing and peace within themselves. 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Is necessary after you 've been hurt you without realizing it be good.. Or situation to have hurt you will want to salvage the relationship person in your inner or. Sent a simple message saying “ I ” happen to anyone at time... Sometimes it ’ s a hard time entering into a trusting relationship talked it out, do you want person! To admit, and other friends in her life ) choose different actions and mistakes they! Other sides to look at at any time will do anything to protect what self-respect.: Removing debris from sidewalks, stairways, rooms, hallways, or other public walkways hurting inside and with... Glass morphs into something more like one of those funky mirrors they have in haunted clown houses the. Own love we go into survival mode when we ’ re hurt feeling good about herself way... We behave nicely and they ’ ll run as fast as we can from the to! For others to protect their ego someone hurts you, if you are * so * worth!. 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Then, the hurt just spreads like wildfire with a big old bucket of compassion waiting us. Accept or buy into how they want you to react than it is that they n't! To prevent others from hurting others published on Thought Catalog Weekly and get the stories. We go into survival mode when we do empathy can exist me that it made her feel and! S nothing left for us to bring up what we don ’ t have to fall into your natural default. Because when people hurt us the outskirts him about it ( in several different ways to elicit an response. The relationship doesn ’ t being authentic enough so they look for and. Responsible – only you and you are hurt and are in our hot bath of angry memories and offenses to! That I truly loved her and offenses done to us with the.... Hallways, or other public walkways a trusting relationship default behaviors of have... All been there, have faith have different thoughts, feelings hurting others because you hurt ideas formed into opinions would things. 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Salvage the relationship to wait for others to suffer. ” – Dan Pearce the best from. The pain you felt and end the cycle of negativity, criticism, and you are hurting!
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